I have been truly blessed to finally be in my element, artistic creativity! I have not blogged in quite a bit, because I have been preoccupied with my art. I still have to pinch myself, never in a million years would I have thought I’d be following my dream! Its been a whirlwind since January 2020, the pandemic hit and a wave of opportunities presented themselves and doors that finally opened so to speak. It has all been a culmination of my efforts to finally face my past traumas and allow myself share with the world and myself who I have been hiding all along.
To think back, I felt so lost. Unhappy and unsure of my purpose, hopes and dreams. I try to pinpoint the exact moment when I lost the “joie de vivre” or joy of living, the moment when I had given up on myself. But, all I know is that I am so glad that I finally took a chance on myself and took that time I needed to reflect, ask for external help, seek therapy and I am so thankful for all the support from my family. It is never easy to admit you need help, the first steps are the hardest, and even harder to continue the healing process. I had always been that support person for everyone, and I put myself on the sidelines thinking it will get better… But guess what… it doesn’t get any better if you don’t make yourself a priority.
I continue to still struggle with my emotions, I feel way to much. My constant feeling of letting people down, hurting others and fear of judgement have kept me silent for too long. Well no longer, I now feel more confident, and no longer afraid to share with others how they make me feel. What they do with that information is no longer my burden to keep, and create inner turmoil in my mind like I had done in the past.
Now, the future, my future looks so much brighter. I feel at peace with how my life is unfolding. Partnering with amazing people doing what I love, being an artist. Its funny because this particular collaboration happened out of the blue, I had sketched my “Warrior Princess” Charcoal piece and I had this feeling someone needed this particular piece. I had witnessed over social media a friend going through a very difficult time, so one morning I delivered the piece to her in hopes to bring some joy. Turns out my sketch “Warrior Princess” depicted her character “Haamiah” in a novel she is planning on writing, she was thrilled and asked me sketch another character named “Nathanial”. It’s like it was written in the stars, and further confirms my beliefs in things happening for a reason.
I look forward in reading her novel and creating future collaborations.
Tracy aka Mrs Money Queen